We train our guides to communicate by building strong rapport with the participants. We teach our guides how to listen actively and responsively in ways that draw out the participant’s own solutions. In the group format, help comes in many ways, and we discourage the participants from trying to offer advice--speaking from their own center in “I” statements.

We do not intend that HOPE Groups be “therapeutic” according to any tradition in which the guide is a person with answers, solutions, or “fixes”. The guide is a coach whose responsibility is to draw the answers out of the others in the group. Her working belief is that if a person is capable of asking a question, the answers already lie within. Everything spoken is simply offered as experience to be shared with the listener. HOPE Groups are intimate, safe, confidential places. Rather, we teach our guides to recognize when there appears to be a need for therapy and to make suggestions for appropriate referrals.

We encourage professionals to guide HOPE Groups, should they feel so inclined. They can bring a wealth of experience to the group meeting without putting it in the context of their training. We frankly ask them to put their techniques in their pocket when they come through the door to a HOPE Group meeting. We make this possible by insisting that no one keep any record of any HOPE Group meeting. We do not discourage professionals from guiding a HOPE Group for their clients. After all, the founder, Ken Hamilton, M.D., started the first HOPE Group meeting with five of his own patients. He found no conflict, because he never asked the participants to reveal the reason they were seeing him as surgical patients, leaving it entirely up to the individual to determine what s-he would disclose to the group. Furthermore, the commitment to keeping no records of any kind completely removed the HOPE Group experience from the clinical experience of both the patients and their doctor.

Free standing, open HOPE Groups charge no fixed fees.

HOPE Groups are financially autonomous. Their guides are volunteers who may accept contributions up to the level of “usual, customary, and reasonable” fees for running therapy groups. H.O.P.E.’s 501(c)(3) non-profit status makes all contributions tax-deductible. We ask each group to contribute (at least) 10% of their contributions to H.O.P.E. for the continued support of its outreach programs, including the ongoing training of guides, creating support material, maintaining the web site, etc.

A fairly typical HOPE Group meeting:

If new members are present, ask for simple introductions all around, and ask the new member(s) how they found their way to H.O.P.E..

All participants join in reading the “Gold Book” with its HOPE Group Opening, the Principles of Attitudinal Healing, and the HOPE Group Guidelines. (As one HOPE Group participant described the essence of the Gold Book: "H.O.P.E. is a prayer for Peace through Love in every line of the Gold Book--Love is the Power--Peace is the Force--Intention is the Creative Thoughts--Choice directs the Energy.")

Someone may then have something vitally important that kicks off the talk. Wait and listen. Virginia Satir’s question, “Is there anything bubbling up for anyone just now?” can bring things up quite nicely. If no one comes forward, one can ask another question that is more intentional: “What one thing would each one of you like to take home with you tonight (today, this afternoon, etc.). Please take a moment to let the answer come, and let’s go around the circle.” As each person states her (or his) intention, repeat it back to her (or him), word for word, if possible. Repeat a sentence. Ask permission to summarize a paragraph.

If conversation kicks off immediately, fine. If not, consider that holding the silence as a form of speech. (And offer that if anyone seems to feel uncomfortable with silence.)

A HOPE Guide knows the value of listening, and how empowering it is when a person knows s-he is really listened to.

How does a HOPE Group make newcomers welcome?

• Introductions:

Welcome the newcomer/new face/new person, and invite the new person in an indircet way to give/share her or his name with the group. Next, invite the older group members to give their names, the reason they came to H.O.P.E., and the reason they keep coming back. Finally, ask the newcomer if s-he would care to tell the group how s-he found out about H.O.P.E. and tell her or him that there is no rule that says she has to tell her whole story.

• Describe the nature of the group:

Explain the acronym.

Describe the attitude of H.O.P.E., the attitude of meaning.

Tell how the agenda walks in through the door and that it is important to set the context, the crucible, for the agenda.

• Tell the person about the Golden Book

How we read it -- going around the circle, one phrase at a time.

The nature of the HOPE Group opening: naming ourselves, setting intention (why we are here); describing the way to realizing the intention (how we get what we came for), setting a new intention, and describing the results of attaining that intention (what we’re going to do with it).

Describe the affirming qualities of the Principles of Attitudinal Healing and how their positive nature sets the tone for a beneficial outcome of the HOPE Group Opening.

Describe the HOPE Group Opening as a verbal contract for how we will get along for the length of the meeting.

• Final validation:

Tell the new person(s) that she has had the experience of one HOPE Group meeting and that next week’s experience may well be quite different. Invite her (him) back for at least a couple more meetings before deciding if the HOPE Group is for her (him).

Give the new person(s) the opportunity to give a closing comment or thought before gathering in a circle and repeating the Prayer for Serenity.

Listening requires effort…

“Do you have trouble hearing?” asked the teacher of a youngster who sat dreamily at his desk.
“No, Ma’am,” replied the boy, “I have trouble listening.”

Most of us are like that. The ability to listen is not an inborn trait; it takes a conscious effort to do it well.

Successful listeners are people who listen intently (with intention). Their minds do not wander. They concentrate on what the other person is saying because they have the intention of hearing it.

They repress their own egos. They do not interrupt. Nor are they thinking only of what they want to say when the speaker finishes. They do not judge, criticize, or give advice.

They are patient. Nothing is more annoying than a person who has no patience to hear you out.

They are concerned. They care about what the other person is saying because they care about that person.

They reflect on what they hear, offering only their observations of relationships and connections in what they hear

They affirm the other for her or his qualities of doing and being and intention.

When a natural pause comes prior to closing time, ask the participants if they would care to comment on whether or not they have anything to take home that relates to their earlier intention. Affirm each experience. Consider making a brief comment at the end of the circle about which cornerstone(s) seem to have thrown light on the objects. In addition, please include you, their guide, in the circle for all of this. Walk your talk, my dears. Those you work with will respect you for it.

Close with one of the centering practices I mention above.