HOPE’rs Thoughts about HOPE

• "HOPE is different from conventional cancer support systems. We all agree it is far superior and extremely successful. The general consensus among us is that HOPE means something different to each of us. We all agree there is no simple way to identify what is unique or special, but we share the feeling of quality."
  
• "There is a separation from both religious and medical connotations. HOPE is something further. HOPE is felt to often contain a spiritual experience, which is a sense of being a part of something that is larger than any of us and yet within us at the same time."
  
• "There is a "family" atmosphere that can be lost in large groups. Family atmosphere without the "family fear". Maybe I should call it the family terror." Everyone in the group has in one way or another experienced the fright of a diagnosis of a serious illness. The concept of taking care of someone with an incapacitating illness of any kind gets very complicated even with the most loving families."
  
• "HOPE is the process of taking a step beyond conventional treatment." The author of this comment conceived of it as ‘balance’ in the approach to illness. By this he meant that while HOPE recognizes the very important biological aspects of illness, the psychological aspects were important, too…and so were the spiritual. To this person, "spiritual" didn’t necessarily mean "God", rather it meant "Universal".
  
• Another participant said she sees hope as a way to live, and HOPE goes beyond the treatment of the disease to a whole way to live one’s own life. HOPE is, to many, many of its participants, an ongoing way of life.
  
• Many others have repeatedly pointed out that HOPE groups function in an atmosphere of unconditional love. People are accepted as they are, and they tend to let go of the need to judge each other and themselves. This makes a HOPE group a very safe place where there are no "shoulds".

A higher level of supportive input is available with the presence of this involved and uneducated "support". Many of us have spent more time trying to take care of the people who love us than focusing on our own treatment. The input we get in a HOPE group supports each of us in our own life, and we come to learn that our ability to give care to our loved ones goes up as we learn to take care of ourselves. This direct personal input is a very positive asset of the HOPE concept. Maybe the key to this asset is finding the meaning in "persons exceptional". A long legacy is offered to those who open their hearts and minds to improve their lives, and to recognize their exceptionality, which is the precious uniqueness of each individual’s experience.

"Exceptional" always carries the risk of making someone "special". This was a major challenge for Alcoholics Anonymous from the beginning. Alcoholics working the AA program know that ego inflation is a big challenge for them; it tended to make them the equivalent of God, and the drink helped out. When sobriety set in, the Big Ego kept working, leading to the descriptive term, "dry drunk". Sobriety was said to really be established when the recovering person was able to realize s-he was not God. Now, 60 years after AA began, the issues of ego inflation are still rampant in society; so we specify in HOPE that "exceptional" applies to our wonderful differences that can be viewed as not separating us from one another, but bringing us together in our collective and individual service to the Universe.