Part I ran in the last issue of Ripples. We now invite you to read about the reframing techniques that help you move from fear and anger into love...

The essence of this love is relationship. It goes beyond sexual, erotic, hormone-driven love, which, ironically and delightfully, is relationship-based. (Consider the complex and rich variety of relationships that are present when we make sexual love with each other.) The greater love that goes beyond the erotic was known in our Greco-Roman past as agape or caritas. It has long been identified with the divine Source of all Things. Its divine nature is expressed in the perfection that holds everything in the universe together, from the tiniest quarks and electrons to the whole universe. This great and powerful love extends itself throughout the farthest reaches of the universe, enveloping all in its magnificent embrace. It is life itself – and it contains no projection. It embraces all time into one wondrous moment. It is the model into which we can carry our fear and our anger and transform them without destroying them.

Consider the power in this word, transform, which means to change shape. It would be unwise to try to destroy fear and anger, for this is to play into their fight or flight model. Rather, would it not be prudent and practical to transform them into more useful functions? After all, there is a great deal of energy stored up in both of them. It might ultimately be the same as transforming the destructive energy in our nuclear weapons into the beneficial energy of nuclear power plants. To achieve this end, we need only remove projection from them.

Let us first take projection out of fear. We do this by removing time from our thoughts. This is quite easy for anyone who has ever been in an extremely dangerous situation–like spinning out of control on black ice, or falling from a height. For those who have not been in such a situation, trust those of us who have, and listen to these two stories:

A middle-aged man was riding his motorcycle early one spring morning when, while swinging through a curve in a city street, his front tire struck a patch of oil that had floated out of the pavement with the dew. Suddenly his bike was going down, and, to use his words “time stood still”. In perfect clarity, and without any feeling of fear, he let the bike go and found himself seemingly suspended, upright, in midair. In his clarity of mind, he became aware that he could run. He said he never knew his legs could move so fast, for he hit the ground upright, running full tilt, and stayed on his feet all the way to the opposite curb, where he stopped and sat down…shaking!

Several years ago a woman developed a recurrence of her breast cancer that threw her body calcium way out of balance, and she knew with perfect clarity that this could take her life. With total awareness time stopped for her and she “floated” in it. In this state she saw a road with a fork in it open up right in front of her. She could see down each fork. One led down to darkness where she saw herself curled up in a little ball, dead. The other led on, straight and level, into groups of smiling, friendly, loving people where she saw herself alight and alive. With fearless awareness of both paths, she chose the one to life, and is in good health today.

Both of these people learned that there is only one time–now. They did so through the discovery of the clarity of awareness… where there is only one time, the time without fear. In this time they found the power of being fully present to life–the power of presence. Presence is the power of knowing that the self is living in a space which contains no need to project, a space promised from the beginning of time. In awareness and presence, anger and fear have been transformed into the natural, graceful flow of space and time.

Thus, to take the temporal projection out of fear transforms it into awareness. To take the spatial projection out of anger transforms it into presence. How powerful it is to be aware and present to any situation! How powerful it is to be able to see all of the choices in any situation and to choose the appropriate one to that situation!

The Love Reframe:           top
Here is an effective way to remove those projections and center in the now-moment. It consists of a simple seven-part exercise through which one can transform the energy of any emotionally unpleasant situation into the experience of awareness and presence, where one discovers the ability to see all choices and to make the most appropriate one. Each step of the exercise has a word symbol that describes a specific action. The first two steps are tied into a partial breath. The next three are tied into a full breath. The sixth asks for awareness. The seventh asks for presence.

The seven steps are:
Stop, Release, Remember, Fill, Ask, Listen, Act.

• Stop: When the stressful situation arises and you recognize that you are in it, STOP BREATHING.
• Release: LET GO of any amount of breath that is in your body now and with it let the old unpleasant feeling go.
• Remember: As you begin to breathe in, REMEMBER A TIME in your life at which you were at peace with the world, especially a time when you knew that you were loved–by another human, by a pet, by God. Recall the feeling in that memory.
• Fill: FILL YOUR BODY with the breath that contains that remembered feeling. Let the breath and the feeling flow through your lungs into the heart those lungs surround, and from there let it flow through the entire core of your being–all in and with one rich, full breath.
• Ask: Release that full breath and as you do, ask, “WHAT WOULD LOVE HAVE ME DO WITH THIS?”
• Listen: LISTEN TO THE ANSWER-listen with your heart–and with gratitude resume normal breathing.
• Act: ACT ON THE ANSWER-now, and with gratitude.

Practice this frequently in peaceful situations, using the answers for general guidance and familiarity with the power of the process. Repeat the seven words slowly and deliberately, remembering the action that is associated with each word and connect the two. With practice, when a stressful situation arises, the reframe will kick in automatically. Remember: Practice makes perfect!

HOPEr's Stories           top
A series of articles by you--the HOPE Participants

Kathy Grindle
Portland HOPE Group
I came to my first HOPE meeting approximately three years ago. I had just found out that my breast cancer had metastasized to my bones and I can distinctly remember that I could see two roads ahead. One was to roll up in a ball and die--forgetting all I had learned at Al-anon about loving and taking care of myself and loving and trusting in my higher power whom I call God. The other road was to appreciate every day with a positive attitude and gratitude for my wonderful husband and my two magnificent sons.

My sister Barbie heard about the HOPE group and said she would drive me and sometimes she attended meetings with me. My brother Alan also came to some meetings. I have met many inspirational people at HOPE and it is so great to be in a room of people who care about each other's processes.

Ken Hamilton mentioned that he could do soul retrievals and I went to South Paris because I wanted to know if my soul was OK or if there was anything I needed to change or know just in case I have to leave this world. It was a comforting experience.

Then Barbie, Alan, and I heard about the Circling the Soul workshop. We went together and the decision was made that all three of us would stay in the same group. We were hesitant because we thought we knew all about each other-but this experience brought us even closer together and was a terrific day for all of us. We even did a Circling the Soul in my living room with our sister Mary and nieces Jessica and Alanna. It was so healing and gave a new dimension to all our lives.

I truly believe HOPE is a very positive experience. I have gone from losing 60 pounds and being in a coma for 11 days to regaining my weight, going into a remission (with the help of chemo therapy) for over a year now.

I have spent some of this time making sweaters and video reading for my grandchildren and letters to people who have enriched my life. I truly hope to be here for many more meetings and going to camp with my husband and sharing in my sons' lives for a long time-but whatever time there is I choose the HOPE way!

Do you have a story or anecdote you would like to share with the readers of Ripples? Please send it to Ken at HOPE PO Box 276, S. Paris, ME 04281.

We would love to have your HOPE story for Ripples! Please send it to the HOPE office, PO Box 276, South Paris, ME 04281 or email it to hope-at-hopehealing.org. If you don't think you are a writer, record it onto a tape and send that to the office. The editor will transcribe and edit it for you!